If, on the other hand, both parents are in denial then the burden of initiating the conversation falls on you. It is slightly easier if you have been involved in the care needs of your parents because you have direct experience and understand their needs. You can also mention that as their care needs increase (and they will) you will be unable to meet these needs alone, thus the need for an evaluation and a plan. If they continue to resist you may have to draw the line by not offering any assistance until they are willing to compromise or have a discussion about planning for care needs. This is often a last resort and results in feelings of helplessness and hopelessness on the part of family members.
There are other situations where you may not have seen your parents in some time and you are shocked at the situation in the home and their inability to comprehend the seriousness of the situation. Your parents are both at risk physically and financially. This is the time when it may be appropriate to also contact a care navigator and an elder law attorney to discuss options for your family.
Relationship difficulties within families are more common than many believe. However it is important not to allow these difficulties prevent parents or loved ones from receiving needed care or making long term plans.