“Let’s give it one more try”, I hear this frequently and usually support another “try” provided that boundaries for success and failure can be identified and agreed upon. Several months ago, I had a client who wanted to go home from a nursing home “one more time” to see if he could care for himself. Friends and family agreed with the boundary that if he became ill again and needed medical attention he would then move to an appropriate assisted environment. Well as one can imagine after about three months, the man was at the point of not eating or drinking and his days consisted of lying on his bed with no energy, barely unable to move. For most of us, this would be a serious situation and we would either go to see our physician or call emergency services to take us to the hospital. But, taking into context that this man had been in a skilled facility several times in the past year, he stated he was fine and going nowhere. Fortunately a family member put down their foot and took him to the emergency room where he was admitted and subsequently permanently placed in an assisted living facility. Family members or friends who need care and disagree create no win situations for their family members who are trying to do their best. What the ill family member doesn’t realize is that they create the situation that then causes the need for action. How many of you have experienced this with your family members or friends?

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