Caregiving Category

CaregivingCaregiving, being a caregiver, caregiver support, caregiver overwhelm, caring for aging parents, caring for a spouse; the job is never ending, 24/7, non-stop, no-pay. Caregivers are overwhelmed, physically and emotionally exhausted, frustrated, angry, and guilty. Real solutions and support are here. No fluff. Real answers to give caregivers confidence in abilities and decision making. Uncomfortable and honest discussions about being an overbearing or a caring caregiver, caregiver overwhelm, caregiving demands, when parents need 24-hour care, caregiving conversations, decision making, and the impossible duties of being a caregiver. You may have it any other way (would you?) but you’d like caregiving to be a little easier. Join Pamela on the learning journey to lower stress, anxiety, and avoid crises.

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Overbearing or caring caregiver—how much care and attention is too much? As an aging parent or spouse who depends on an adult child or a spouse for care, when do you speak up and say “enough”? It is possible to show appreciation and limit the amount of doting or domineering behavior by caregiver?

A celebration of mothers and womenMay, one of the finest months of spring is the month of Mother’s Day.  For those of us who have lost a mother, this day ceases to be a day of celebration and becomes a day of remembrance. If we are a mother and have children it is both a day of celebration and remembrance.  My mother passed away suddenly in March 1995 at the age of 69.  I was 34 and the passing of my mother resulted in a total re-evaluation of my life and a career change to my work in the aging and healthcare industry as an advocate and an educator.

When no family is availableA meal site volunteer called to ask my assistance when she received a call from a woman who said she had no food and needed groceries.  The volunteer provided a telephone number saying that the woman was at a neighbor’s house and did not have her own telephone.

Caregiving Demands The Never Ending “To Do” ListHow often do caregivers feel that they are constantly running from place to place with a list of “to dos” rarely completed and a care recipient waiting on the other end demanding time and attention? If you are a caregiver this may describe your day to day reality; never enough time in the day and never any time for you.

The benefits of resilience Resilience is a learned skill that allows us to “bounce back” when things don’t go our way; a flat tire, an argument with a family member, a parent or loved one who refuses help, an unexpected medical diagnoses, a client who tells us we did not meet their expectations, a friend who always asks for help but who never gives, the leaky sink in the kitchen that never seems to be repaired and the long list of “to dos” that we never quite seem to complete.

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Care without instructionsSuggestions without a plan for implementation offer little success. What questions must you ask when “care” is suggested?

Caregiving when parents need 24 hour careHas a doctor or a healthcare professional told you that you or a parent needs “24 hour care”?  This is like telling a person to bake a Black Forest cake without providing a recipe.  I know of few individuals or family caregivers able to explain the definition of “24 hour care”.  Yet industry professionals throw this term around like family caregivers are expected to know exactly what this means and make it happen.

Caregiving decisions when no choice is idealUnexpected, uninformed, overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, depressed, angry, fearful, between a rock and a hard place, poor choices, lack of planning, what were our parents thinking, what were we thinking.  All terms caregivers utter when a decision has to be made about the care of a loved one and because of a lack of planning or because of advancing health conditions, the available choices are less than idea.  Difficult decisions result in caregivers who experience emotional distress, guilt, regret and a few sleepless nights.

Caregiver overwhelm in decision makingIn caregiving and healthcare, decisions can be final, irreversible. Family caregiver decisions made in haste may be regretted later.  For example when a decision is made without enough information, when the right questions are not asked or when absolute belief is given to the opinion of another without the inclusion of simple reasoning regrets may occur. How many times do the emotions of others involved in a situation quickly become our emotions and lead us down the path to making the wrong decision?  How do we know what or who to believe?  Especially when we’re in the midst of an emerging crises and a decision must be made – now.

Caregiving generational issues challenge discussionsEvery generation uses the phrase “kids today” with a tone of disappointment. After all, the generation in which we were born is always the greatest. It’s those that come after us that we see as the problem.  In discussing subjects related to caregiving, it is helpful to learn about different aspects of each generation and how these affect values, experiences, lifestyles and attitudes.

The duty of families to caregiveInterview With Dr. Cynthia Geppert, Chief of Consultation Psychiatry and Ethics, New Mexico Veterans Affairs Health Care System (podcast 10:42 playing time)
Click below to listen:

Creating a longer to do listStress is prevalent. We work long hours, we worry more than we should, and we constantly rush from here to there attempting to cross items off a long to do list. We fail to take care of ourselves. Research has shown for years that more heart attacks occur on Monday mornings because the stress hormones of cortisol and adrenaline are present in higher levels on this day of the week. After a relaxing weekend, many of us experience stress as the result of the thought and action of returning to work on Monday morning.

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