A very objective, informative and heart-warming guide for adult children who find themselves caring for aging parents, many think, simply because they are the daughter or son, they know what is best for their parent and then feel guilty because they are overwhelmed by the task. Too often I have heard, “I think we made a mistake in our decision.” Reading the experiences of this author will give confidence to the reader that the solutions offered are not only professional and objective, but equally as important, they are from the heart.
– Astrid Tertel, Caregiver
“Today is the time to make connections with our parents before time passes. Time also for the conversation of care, years before care is needed.” Pamela Wilson asks the reader to appreciate the fragility of life by valuing our relationships, and to take a proactive stance by realizing that how we live now will shape the future as we age. She offers a toolbox of strategies to help the caregiver move forward with foresight, knowledge, and skills to plan for the future.
– Tina Wells, MA, Alzheimer’s Association Colorado
Pamela Wilson has provided us with an information-rich, enormously detailed and practical, very deeply personal, and even fearless exploration and understanding of the all-too-often simply overwhelming care-giving process. It will be a book—like her practice phone number—that I keep within close reach in my own office, and imagine sharing with patients and their families for years to come.
– Jay Schneiders, PhD., ABPP, Clinical Neuropsychologist & Health Psychologist
There is a phrase from Pamela Wilson’s new book The Caregiving Trap that says it all: “Logic is absent from many caregiving situations as emotions take over the driver’s seat.” Being a nurse who has been a caregiver for over 40 years, I wish I had found Pamela’s book much earlier in my life. Caring for elders is a special skill. Over the last 15 years while caring for my own aging parents, I have encountered absolutely wonderful, patient souls who clearly have a gift with this population. But the trick for the rest of us is to listen to these knowledgeable folks. Pamela is an expert who has provided heartfelt, concrete advice to guide others through this challenging process.
—Patricia A. Herlily, Ph.D., R.N., CEO and Founder of Rocky Mount
No one is more experienced or knowledgeable in helping caregivers and care recipients than Pamela Wilson. Pamela is an educator and a professional caregiver. She knows what works and her advice is more than theory, it has been tested in practical application.
—John J. Horan, CMSP/CFSP, Horan & McConaty
This book is a must read not only for any health professional interacting with the elderly and disabled individuals but also for any adult who could possibly find themselves in a care giving situation or the recipient of caregiving now or in the future. Pamela’s personal and professional experience, along with extensive research, offers a compassionate, perceptive and detailed resource. Familiar scenarios, probing questions, and realistic options are presented, all with the end goal of better quality of life for both the recipient of care and the caregiver.
—Linda Warwick, RN Hospice and Alternative Therapy Practitioner
The Caregiving Trap Book is rated 4.8 out of 5 based on 27 reviews from around the Web.
I did respond. I just want to also say that your book the Caregiver Trap was the most helpful information that I received from any source. Being an only child with one parent in a nursing home and the other in assisted living has been a real challenge. But again your book was so helpful when nothing else was giving me any of the info I needed. Thank you so much!
Pamela Wilson has done a fantastic job with her book on caregiving, and the solutions and advice she offers in this book are priceless. My parents are much older, but fortunately are independent so far, and do not need the assistance of myself or my siblings. However, they did take care of their own parents many years ago, and I witnessed firsthand the many struggles and problems one can encounter during this stressful time. I think it’s great that Ms. Wilson mentions the importance of taking time for yourself when you are a caregiver, as I feel this is often overlooked and not mentioned. Caregiving can be such a stressful time for all parties involved, and a resource like this is precisely what one needs to help navigate during this difficult period of life. I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This book really surprised me. I was unsure whether or not it was a book I wanted to read, as it deals with some pretty heavy topics I'm still coming to reality with (i.e. that I am aging, that my parents are aging, one day I may not be able to take care of myself/others, etc..), but I really enjoyed it. Still being fairly young (30s), with parents and grandparents still around, I was left with compassion and a renewed desire to stay in touch with my grandparents particularly. I can help to keep them young, by staying connected. They aren't going to be around forever.Ms. Wilson does a great job of explaining things in a way that left me reassured and confident in preparing for my future and the future of those around me.I'm actually preparing to talk with my parents about their long term care, after recently watching my mom go through the task of helping my grandparents find a long-term care solution. I know it's a difficult thing to go through (losing the ability/freedom, giving up driving, and facing the fact that you won't be around forever). And it's sort of like the sex talk-- no one really wants to have it-- but everyone needs it.This book has made me want to have the conversation with my parents now, before it's a more difficult issue -- Wilson did a great job of providing ways to bring it up/talking points and reassurance. Crossing my fingers all goes well!
I love this book. I work in a field where I’m helping take care of people on a regular basis and this book was amazing to read. I really liked how it walks the reader through everything that it is going to take to care for a loved one. There are things that people really need to know when getting involved in that. The fact that it not only walked you through things that would need to be done, but it will mentally prepare you for the tasks ahead. I also liked the fact that there were other resources listed for people to check out. All in all, this is a great book that I will be recommending to all of my friends in the field of taking care of others. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I feel like even though this is a sensitive topic, it needs to be discussed thoroughly and dealt with promptly. I've heard so many awful stories and encounters from friends who's parents or grandparents were mistreated terribly while being supervised under caregivers. It angered me, and I wanted to seek information from an expert on this topic. After reading this book, I can honestly say that Ms. Wilson is an incredibly educated woman with a clear vision of what the ideal caregiver needs to offer. As I said before, this is a sensitive topic for most people, yet there is one inevitable fact that no one can avoid. That is, we will all age. We are busy humans who have lives that can not just immediately stop. We will all have family members that age and we need to make sure that they are equipped with the proper care. With that being said, this book is literally for EVERYONE. I thought it was a great read and different from my usual novel.I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Nobody wants to think about family members and their health deterioration, however, it is an inevitable part of life. At some point, most of us will be faced with making decisions for a sick family member that will change everyone's life. This book has a tremendous amount of useful information for any potential caregiver. Wilson helps the caregiver understand what to expect from their new position and how to improve the quality of life for all those involved. She also discusses care navigators and the benefits that they provide. I particularly think the exercises would be very useful for caregivers as they give specific advice or ask questions that make the caregiver reflect on themselves and the situation. I also liked the discussion of the importance of the caregiver taking take of themselves first. I'm a young mom and the best advice I received before having my son was to not forget about myself. I can't be the best mom if I'm not taking care of my needs too. I hope I will not need to reread this book for many years, but when I find myself in a caregiving situation, I definitely will. I highly recommend this book to everyone! I received a free copy of the book in exchange for an honest review. l
This book is a valuable tool for those who plan or have not thought about planning on taking care of their parents when they are elderly. I love that this book describes many ways in which to aid the caregiver respite and encourages time away. There are wonderful guidelines on when/what to do with an ailing parent/grandparent. Many family members feel the need to care for their family at home 24/7; however, as mentioned in the book, this can cause strife and resentment between the family member who needs care and the caregiver. This book is a wonderful read for older adults an even young adults. It is never to early to prepare for care for your loved ones. I certainly enjoyed this book and will find use for it later. I would love to see another book regarding young adults caring for ailing parents when they are still in high school as well as further information about parents caring for special needs children. A lot of these concepts would be valuable to these families as well; however, the reader would need to cater to their specific needs and could skip various chapters. I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
As a health care professional, I found The Caregiving Trap so informative from so many perspectives. Pamela Wilson pens a wide range of real life scenarios that all individuals and families face at some point. From the caregiver to the loved one requiring care. She takes what can be such a stressful and emotional time and gives real solutions and options for families facing life's inevitable changes.I have always heard that for one to write well....one must write what one knows well. Pamela does a keen job of this writing from her own remarkable experience with her own family. This kept me totally engaged in the reading as she laced her own life experience with the exceptional knowledge she has gained over her career.As a home health care professional, I feel strongly that The Caregiving Trap should be mandatory reading for all health care professionals working with an aging population and the families that love them.
I highly recommend this book for anyone who is or could be facing a long term caregiving situation- either of a parent or spouse. Unfortunately, this is not a subject that is thought about by most people until they are deep in the trenches of caregiving. Confronting this sad but real topic in advance could save a lot of time, money and stress down the line. The structure of the book is very helpful and as I see it, the chapters can be broken up into three main categories:1. Facts surrounding caregiving as an industry/practice. This covers the different types of long term care assistance that is available such as assisted living, hiring a part time nurse, or getting in touch with a care navigator and how to advocate for the best outcomes in each of these situations.2. Exercises and prompts to help the reader think through caregiving obstacles they are facing or may face in the future. For example, there is a list of 10 beliefs of caregivers that can lead to disagreements with the one who needs care as well as a list of 10 questions to talk through early on in the caregiving relationship. These were particularly helpful because instead of just identifying a problem, several solutions are offered to work through the challenges.3. Anecdotal stories from the author about her experiences as a caregiver. This brings a personal touch to the book- as opposed to just someone who has studied the subject theoretically. TOverall it is a nice balance of facts, advice, with a few heartwarming stories thrown in for good measure.I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. As someone who has spent a large amount of time as a caregiver for my grandparents, I found much of what Wilson said to be fairly accurate. There is a great deal to be said about the difficulties involved with caring for family members. I feel as though the saying, “you can’t please everyone all the time” rings very true as a family caregiver. And, as Wilson points out, family caregiving is often a thankless job with ever-increasing responsibilities. With that said, I agree that there are benefits to having a care navigator, but it isn’t realistic for every family. In the case of one of my grandmothers, money was very tight and she was estranged from most of her family. Luckily, we had the important “what if” conversations regarding her end of life care before they were necessary so I knew what she wanted. I feel as though her wishes were upheld. However, I can see the benefits of a care navigator working well for someone who doesn’t have someone to speak on his or her behalf. Much of Wilson’s book focuses on how to hire and have a care navigator advocate for the care recipient in your life. Luckily, the examples provided do help even if you cannot afford to have a care navigator as an advocate. Wilson does bring up and explain how being a caregiver for a family member can grow. What starts off small, like grocery shopping, can quickly escalate to chauffeuring to all appointments, cooking, cleaning and so much more. What would have made this book better would be more information on how to deal with caregiving if hiring a care navigator is not an option. I would recommend this book to anyone who might find themselves in a caregiving situation in the future. It doesn’t necessarily provide an easy way out, but you can learn some coping mechanisms to help with future familial obligations.
The Caregiving Trap: Solutions for Life’s Unexpected Changes
Caring for aging parents and family members with declining health can stir up a range of feelings that include guilt, sadness, and exhaustion. Learn how to cope with the unexpected role of caregiving and care receiving.