Thank heavens for friends and neighbors. They help most of the clients I serve. It if were not for them, many of my clients could not get along on a daily basis. This assistance has pluses and minuses. Friends and neighbors help with tasks like grocery shopping, laundry, errands, meal prep and the like; assistance that many older people need. The downside is that sometimes the older person becomes totally dependent on the friend or neighbor and will not act independently even if they are able for fear of losing the help or the friend. If the friend or neighbor cannot continue to help, anger, nagging and many negative emotions sometimes result. Sometimes it’s best to help but not do everything. Discuss other options for assistance like paid help. Let’s face it, most caregivers who are family or friends donate about 13 hours per work, unpaid. Rejoice in the friendship and not the work by talking to your friend about hiring some paid help to supplement your assistance. This may help them appreciate you more and may save your friendship in the long term.