How many of us have had family members or friends on their deathbeds that held grudges? I find this amazingly sad because the person they’re holding the grudge against has no idea of the slight or has moved on. If something happens with another person that irritates me, I work through it with them or alone and then try to just let it go. This is not to say that I don’t remember mistakes I’ve made personally that I continue to beat myself up for, but to me holding grudges are different. I have friends and family, even my husband, who reminds me of things that happened year ago, that I have let slide from my memory. For example, my sister wanted the bathroom painted a different color or I hung a picture someone really didn’t like but had to put up with looking at it every day. My husband thinks I have too many plants in the house; he’s probably right but for now I enjoy them. I don’t comment on the number of tools we have in the basement that never get used. To me these are such small things in the scheme of life. Maybe it’s because of what I do for a profession in dealing with sickness and end of life issues on a daily basis. These are more serious things for me. These I remember. I remember the families and the people involved and the difficult situations that are worked through sometimes successfully, sometimes not. And I see family members hold grudges that I wish they wouldn’t. I see the negative health results of holding these grudges, some clients just make themselves sick. So it’s good to examine ourselves do we hold grudges and if so why? If we knew that the person we held the grudge against has moved on, why are we putting ourselves and our energy in a negative position to hold this grudge? Think about it not only for yourself, but for your own health.

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About Pamela Wilson

PAMELA D. WILSON, MS, BS/BA, NCG, CSA helps caregivers and aging adults solve caregiving problems and manage caregiving needs through online programs, live support groups, and an extensive caregiving library that includes articles, podcasts, videos, and webinars.

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