Sometimes in caring for ourselves we neglect our own needs to care for others. How many individuals do you know that have offered to take family members, friends or parents into their homes when these individuals were relatively healthy. The situation changes and the family member, friend or parent is ill and now requires a great deal of care. What hasn’t changed is the fact that this family member, friend or parent remembers hearing “you can move in with me, us” etc. and does not consider that the needs for their care have changed. You find yourself between the proverbial rock and a hard place. What to do? A discussion regarding the change in personal need requirements must occur. It’s one thing to house a person who is independent and able to provide for their own care, it’s very different to house a person who relies on assistance for daily needs. Focusing on a discussion about the care involved will bring up other options that may include their ability to pay for home care in their own home or in your home, or the possibility of care provided by an assisted living or skilled care community. The bottom line to discuss is what benefit is offered by the individual living with you. If the benefit is negligible, then care in their own home or a housing community may be an equally beneficial option.