In some cases, caring for family members who have no cognitive issues can also be as frustrating as caring for a family member who has cognitive issues since these family members are often seen as stubborn and unreasonable. Interestingly enough, the behaviors we have and those we see in our family members and friends are with us our entire lifetime and may have served us very well. I always say that an older adult lived to the age they are because of something, be it stubbornness, persistence, a positive attitude or some other attribute which all of a sudden is a negative. What is it that turns these positive attributes into negatives as we become older? It may be that for many years, the individual lived alone or with a spouse very independently and all of a sudden some form of outside help is needed which involves another individual or individuals. It is when others become involved that persons needing care are now called “difficult”. Imagine that you have been self sufficient all of your life and now need the assistance of others. Is it better to dig in your heels or to come to a point of compromise so that the situation is a bit easier on everyone involved?

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About Pamela Wilson

PAMELA D. WILSON, MS, BS/BA, NCG, CSA helps caregivers and aging adults solve caregiving problems and manage caregiving needs through online programs, live support groups, and an extensive caregiving library that includes articles, podcasts, videos, and webinars.

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