Caregivers often become immobilized and indecisive because the decisions to be made are life changing and there is a great degree of guilt. How many of us find ourselves in losing battles or losing situations. As my uncle would say “you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t”. It is these situations where laying out the facts sometimes helps. Often the emotion of the situation gets in the way and it’s difficult to see any clear path. However even when the facts are laid out, the decision may not be any easier. It’s at this point that individual or family counseling may support decision making. I have so many families that are hesitant to hire an in home caregiver because they fear their family member will react negatively. The trade off is that the caregiver is becoming physically ill and exhausted and if help is not accessed the result will be that their family member will require placement – exactly the action the caregiver is trying to avoid. Many of these actions or inability to act are the result of longstanding habits and patterns. This is why, many times it takes a professional counselor to get to the root of the issue in order to move the situation forward. If you find yourself in this situation seek support through support groups or a professional counselor. Sometimes it takes an impartial party to really help us see where we’re being too rigid or set in our ways. Sometimes it takes an impartial party to help us change ourselves and a situation for the better.

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About Pamela Wilson

PAMELA D. WILSON, MS, BS/BA, NCG, CSA helps caregivers and aging adults solve caregiving problems and manage caregiving needs through online programs, live support groups, and an extensive caregiving library that includes articles, podcasts, videos, and webinars.

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