Your daughter has been your main support these past few years, in fact your only support as your other children have moved away. Your health is failing and recommendations are that you move from your home to a community where more help is easily accessed, but you don’t want to move. Sometimes we become so self-involved in a situation that it’s difficult to see the other side. You want to stay home. Your daughter has always been available to help. What you may not be seeing is the other side of the assistance your daughter has provided. How many evening meals has she missed with her family? How are her children doing without her help completing school work or attending after school activities? How does the time she spends at your house affect her relationship with her husband? When she takes you to medical appointments is consideration given to the fact that she must take off work and possibly lose income? It is easy to become self involved and not realize how your needs or demands affect your family. So when a discussion arises about increased care, consider the request from your family member. After all, it’s likely you’ve had a “free ride”. Now it’s time put a dollar value on the help your family has provided all these years and hire paid help or consider moving to a community where services are accessible and available.

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About Pamela Wilson

PAMELA D. WILSON, MS, BS/BA, NCG, CSA helps caregivers and aging adults solve caregiving problems and manage caregiving needs through online programs, live support groups, and an extensive caregiving library that includes articles, podcasts, videos, and webinars.

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